The Everlasting Phelps

TRIGGER WARNING: This entire site will cause massive butthurt in any precious snowflake that needs a trigger warning for anything.

Happy Times

August 20th, 2014

This makes me happy.  No cop is going to decide to start shooting tear gas and rubber bullets and other bullshit at this protest.  You want to know why the Bundy Ranch protest was a win, and Ferguson is still going on?  Because Bundy Ranch looked like this.

We need more responsible black gun owners.  We need more armed middle aged black men and women, and fewer armed 20-something felons.

Ferguson

August 14th, 2014

Let us not deceive ourselves, sir. These are the implements of war and subjugation; the last arguments to which kings resort. I ask, gentlemen, sir, what means this martial array, if its purpose be not to force us to submission? Can gentlemen assign any other possible motive for it? Has Great Britain any enemy, in this quarter of the world, to call for all this accumulation of navies and armies? No, sir, she has none.   They are meant for us; they can be meant for no other.

Ebola

August 13th, 2014

It could get here.  It’s a definite non-zero chance, and once it is here and spreading, it will be Katy-Bar-the-Door.  So far, it is technically not airborne, but that doesn’t mean what you think it means.  There is significant circumstantial evidence that it spreads via Droplet infection, which means sneezing and coughing will spread it in the immediate area.  It is also infectious for several days to several weeks before you show symptoms, meaning someone who looks perfectly normal could in fact be infecting you with Ebola.  Also, it can live on a surface for around four days, meaning once a surface is contaminated, it will be contaminated for a long time.

So what will this mean?  First, I don’t think martial law will happen, because it won’t be necessary.  People will voluntarily quarantine themselves.  When Ebola starts spreading in America, no one is going to leave the house.  This will be a wise and rational choice.  You aren’t going to catch it inside your own house.  Once it is spreading, however, you can catch it from the door handle to the office bathroom, the counter at the convenience store, the server at the McDonalds, or anything else you simply touch or any other person you get close to (sneezing range is about 6 feet.)

So everyone will stay home.  Practically everyone.  The people who can’t stay home (police, medical, public services) will keep catching it.  Cops are going to be on skeleton crews quickly, hospitals and ambulance services will be the same.  Because public services like the electric grid, water, sewage, gas, etc, require constant upkeep and maintenance, those things will begin failing as the people who maintain them get sick.  Power and water won’t fail completely, but there will be outages, and when outages happen, it will take a while to fix them.

So what do you do?  Plan ahead.  Most of this stuff is the same as for any other unexpected emergency, and you should already be prepared.  If not, this is as good a reason as any.

Stock protective gear.  Buy N-95 masks now.  N-95 is the minimum protection you’ll need.  If it is just droplet infection, then surgical/dust masks might be enough, but if this thing is airborne and we just don’t know it, you’ll need N-95.  These masks are good to have on hand regardless — they aren’t especially expensive, they are great for painting or dealing with other chemicals, and they are what you are going to want for any pandemic, not just Ebola.

Get disposable gloves.  They also aren’t expensive, and you should have a ton of them with your first aid gear.  When there isn’t a national emergency on, you’ll find lots of other uses for them, like the aforementioned painting, or my most common use, changing the cat box.

These are things you need to get now.  If you try to find them once there is a panic, you will be shit out of luck.  Finding N-95 masks was impossible when N1H1 was terrifying everyone.  Right now, it is trivial.  You can get both of these from your local Home Depot, Amazon, or U-line.  Clorox wipes aren’t a bad idea to have around either.

Stock food.  Going to the grocery store will be possible, but rife with peril.  The longer you can avoid it, the better.  You’ll have to have protective gear and go through an entire decontamination regimen every time you go, including decontaminating the things you buy.  Have lots of soap and a good amount of plain-old bleach handy, too — if this shit happens, you’ll need it.  Make sure you have a spray bottle or five on hand to put bleach-sanitizer solution in to spray your purchases with.

Have a plan for dealing with a lack of water, gas or electrical service.  I don’t expect these things to fail in the way an EMP attack would — it’s more like a warzone or third world country.  They will be unreliable.  Blackouts will happen and last for hours or days.  Water will interrupt for hours or days, be at low pressure, or need to be boiled/filtered.

Stock up on your meds.  The medical system will be completely overloaded with just a few hundred cases from the panic and the infection rate of medical personnel.  They are partially overloaded already on any given day.  Pharmacies or hospitals will be places you want to go only as a last resort.  Going to a hospital will mean, like it means now in Ghana, almost certain infection.  It practically means that now with MRSA, and it’s not nearly as deadly as Ebola.  MRSA is harder to spread than Ebola, and think about how widespread it is, especially among medical professionals.  Try to keep at least 60 days on hand.

Those are the things you need to do now, before it is too late.  I won’t scare you with what you will need to know during the outbreak until it is evident that it is going to happen.  This is the stuff you need to know in case the outbreak gets here.

Birth Control and Viagra

July 9th, 2014

Why is contraception treated as “Women’s Preventative Care” in the ACA?  The only thing it “prevents” is pregnancy.  Last time I checked, pregnancy wasn’t a disease or disorder.  I don’t doubt that there are hard core feminazis that consider pregnancy a disease, but the vast majority of the population considers it normal.

Contraception isn’t for preventing diseases or disorders.  It’s to allow you to have sex purely for pleasure.  The methods at issue in Hobby Lobby in fact have no other purpose. Sex purely for pleasure isn’t a medical goal, any more than Hawaiian vacations are.  So let’s face it — we are saying that women are so fundamentally horny and out of control that if we don’t give them free birth control, they won’t spend the $12 on the pills themselves, and will instead just get pregnant.

Here’s my problem — why doesn’t this philosophy also apply to Viagra?  Erectile Disfunction, after all, is an actual disorder, unlike pregnancy.  If our goal is to say that having sex purely for pleasure is a necessity, then Viagra should be at the top of the list.  It not only allows sex for pleasure, but also for procreation.

Contraception is there purely to enable sex for pleasure.  So why not go all the way?  Why aren’t boob jobs free also?  You should get big fat titties along with your IUD.  After all, let’s make sure that you actually get the sex to go along with the birth control — we don’t want to waste taxpayer subsidy dollars.  If we are doing free IUDs, then big ass titties and rock hard viagra super boners should be free too.

Obama’s Biggest Problem — His Own Mouth

July 8th, 2014

Obama causes most of his problems with his own mouth. The immigration problem is exactly that sort of thing. Obama, as President, started running his mouth about amnesty and DREAM acts, and how we should give all these things to kids who are here illegally. What was the result? People in Central America, correctly, heard that as “ship your kids here as soon as you can so they can get amnesty and all this free stuff, including college.”

That is the danger to being president. Your mouth is a loaded gun, and this asshole can’t keep his finger off the trigger. Roosevelt called it the “bully pulpit” for a reason. It isn’t like this is the first time Obama has made his own situation worse by running his mouth. He did the same thing with the IRS. I don’t know if he made any direct orders. Since the IRS is busy destroying all the incriminating evidence, we may never know. At the end of the day, though, we don’t need to have that. Obama gave them the instructions to do what they did on national television during the State of the Union Address. When he went over the line on Citizens United, he told the IRS, “start putting pressure on the kinds of groups Citizens United covers.”

This goes far beyond politics, though. Obama’s habitual line-stepping (to borrow a phrase from Charlie Murphy) is likely setting rapists free. Why? Because apparently this ass-clown can’t remember that he is the Commander-in-Chief, and lets his mouth interfere with military justice. Because he feels the need to spout off to cameras rather than his staff and subordinates, he screws up the chain of command, and ruins ongoing investigations.

Because Obama couldn’t think before he spoke, we have a flood of immigrants coming across the border, in his own Katrina. Because Obama couldn’t think before he spoke, the credibility of the IRS has been ruined for decades, if not forever. Because Obama couldn’t think before he spoke, we likely have rapists going free in the military.

This is the result of sending someone unqualified to the White House. He can learn on the job? He’s been here six years. He only has two years left. When is he going to learn how to actually do his job?

The Everlasting Phelps

TRIGGER WARNING: This entire site will cause massive butthurt in any precious snowflake that needs a trigger warning for anything.