The Everlasting Phelps

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Wictory Wednesday

June 30th, 2004

Today is Wictory Wednesday again. I thought about it, and I could tell you that you need to donate to the Bush campaign because of how Kerry says one day that he doesn’t cross picket lines and then goes out two days later and crosses a picket line. I could tell you that you should volunteer to help the Bush campaign because Bush was the CinC of the force who freed an entire totalitarian dictatorship this week in Iraq.

I thought about that and decided to tell a filthy lie instead.
kerry_poop.jpg

John Kerry likes to watch you POOP.

And now the Wictory Wednesday blogroll.

Bush != Hitler

June 29th, 2004

Citizen Smash is slamming the latest Bush Ad for using the “Bush is Hitler” stuff from Moveon.com.

At my first look, I didn’t agree. They clearly marked all of the moveon stuff. I don’t think there is any question of the source. I did come around, though, to the idea that it was improper. I’m all for tarring someone with his own words. Moveon, however, has since disavowed these ads, and whether I believe them or not (I don’t) I feel that honor says that you have to afford them that denial.

At any rate, this isn’t a productive ad. It is off message. It is the same sort of aginning that has been dragging the LP down for years (and look at how well they poll!) I think that the ad needs to come down, and an apology should be issued. Even if it is a backhanded “we’re sorry we told everyone what you are saying” apology. I don’t agree that what they did was wrong — but I agree that they shouldn’t have done it.

I did notice that there was a lack of the “I’m George Bush, and I approved this message” line on this ad. I think that is telling, and if they aren’t going to put that on the ad, they shouldn’t put it on the website to start with.

For those of you that don’t know, aginning is when your answer to any question is “I’m agin’it.”

Coffee Cleric

June 29th, 2004

The most amazing thing happened to me. I went into the breakroom to get some coffee (some of the coffee I just brewed because the pot was empty again) and the boss had just gone in ahead of me. What happened next was amazing.

He had the pot of Good Stuff in his hand, and asked, “are you coming for some of this?” I didn’t know how to handle it, but I figured the truth was better than a lie. This man was offering to let me get my coffee before he got his. Then he shocked me. He poured my coffee for me, before he took a cup.

I think that I have had a conversion. I think that we have found our spiritual leader. He That Would Forsake the Brew To Give Unto Others. I have a lot of work ahead of me. I need to gouge his eyes out, since we need a proper blind cleric. It isn’t going to be easy, though, because he was a Marine officer, and he’s still in pretty good shape.

I’ll need a cunning plan.

A Slam Dunk

June 28th, 2004

Unca Monkey is probably right that this one is too stupid to fisk, but I am going to anyway.

No one needs an assault weapon to defend himself or herself.

Got that?

Assault weapons are, on the other hand, a handy way for criminals to kill cops.

Now, don’t try to hold both those thoughts in your head too long, because I don’t want you to hurt yourself.

Apparently, there is no way for you to use an assault weapon to defend yourself from the criminals that already have assault weapons, but somehow taking your assault weapons away will keep the criminals from using them on the police.

I think.

Get this shit:

Before the ban went into effect, assault weapons were used to commit crimes at levels that far outstripped their availability. Although assault weapons accounted for 0.5 percent of all guns in the country, they were used in 10 percent of all gun-traced crimes, according to the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.

Oh, how I love to vet a quote. Where did this come from, you suppose? How about the Brady Bunch? And of course, they got that by looking at the BATF records, right? Wrong. They cite in the footnote “Firepower: Assault Weapons in America” Cox Newspapers, 1989. What can we find about this? Well, this study has indeed been vetted in court:

9. Contrary to the assertions in the affidavit of Commissioner Brown, the Cox news organization’s analysis of data from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms is not recent, does not show that assault weapons “comprised approximately 0.5 percent of the guns in circulation,” does not show that these guns represented “10 percent of all guns used in connection with the commission of a crime,” does not show that the guns comprised “12 percent of all guns used in narcotics-related crimes,” and does not show that “Assault weapons were thus 20 times more likely to be used for criminal activity than conventional weapons.” [Affidavit of Lee P. Brown, Police Commissioner of the City of New York, paragraph 4.]

* * *

10. Contrary to Commissioner Brown and Cox newspaper reports, “assault weapons” did not, and do not, comprise only 0.5 percent of the guns in circulation. While the Cox newspapers certainly made that assertion, claiming there were only about one million “assault weapons” in America [Cox Newspapers, Firepower: Assault Weapons in America, 1989, p. 1], in calling the Army “a Major Supplier of Assault Guns,” Cox noted there were an “estimated 1.5 million M-1 ‘Garand’ semiautomatic rifles in private hands.” [Ibid., p. 10.] Cox was thus asserting there were one million “assault weapons” of which 1.5 million were one particular model, an obvious impossibility. In fact, Smithsonian Institution firearms expert Edward Ezell estimated that there were 3.5 – 4 million firearms which could be designated “assault weapons” privately owned as of early 1989. [Testimony of Edward C. Ezell, to the Constitution Subcommittee. Senate Committee on the Judiciary, U.S. Senate, May 10, 1989.] Thus, even if all of the other assertions by Commissioner Brown were correct, the “20 times” figure would have to be divided by 3.5 – 4. But the other assertions by Commissioner Brown are not accurate.

* * *

11. Undermining Commissioner Brown’s reliance on the Cox newspaper
review of BATF data are BATF responses to the Cox material. BATF’s initial “position on Cox Newspapers study of assault type guns” noted: “We do not necessarily agree with the conclusions of Cox Newspapers and need to express that all firearms trace requests submitted by law enforcement agencies are not
crime guns and that the 42,000 traces examined are but a small percentage of all firearms recovered by law enforcement during the period.”

(Full Disclosure: This affidavit appears to be a draft, so I am not certain that it was filed. I am sure that it is factually correct.)

This is simple math. If the number used in crimes is smaller, and the number actually owned is larger, that “used to commit crimes at levels that far outstripped their availability” is bullshit and, while not conclusively falsified, is shown to be a non sequitur in light of the data it is based on.

To quote Vincent Gambini, “I’m done with this guy.”

Midnight Snack

June 26th, 2004

Here’s my bedtime meal tonight.

Slice of Whole Wheat Bread, toasted
Slice of American Cheese
A generous portion of deli sliced roast beef
A healthy slathering of TabascoTM
Crisp Iceberg lettuce
Slice of Whole Wheat Bread, toasted

One Shiner Boch, ice cold, with glass

Damn that was good. A near perfect blend of flavors and textures. I’m going to have to do that more often. I usually don’t even buy roast beef.

Shooting Up the Capitol

June 24th, 2004

Some news from Washington State that really got my goat. Here’s the setup:

State law says all guns can be banned from schools or courthouses. Likewise, federal law prohibits carrying guns through airport security.

But in Washington, the law specifically says that in standard public buildings, such as city halls or the Capitol, you must be allowed to keep your firearm if you have a permit.

I think that is a dandy idea. CCP holders are, statistically, more law abiding than the average person, and if you really wanted to make the capitol safer, you should exclude people who don’t have permits, since they are on average more lawbreaking.

Here’s the part that got my goat.

And that’s troubling to some lawmakers.

“In the legislature, we do things on the floor. Somebody’s always mad about it, so I would just feel more secure if they didn’t have guns in the mix” said State Sen. Darlene Fairley, a Lake Forest Park Democrat.

Well. Let me break it down for you, Duhrlene. If you — my servant — are going to pass a law — and enforce that law using guns — and that law makes me and my fellow permit-holding constituants (who as I mentioned are more law abiding than the average person) so pissed off that we decide to shoot you dead over it — don’t you think that maybe, just maybe, you should rethink your position on that law?

That is the whole point of the Second Amendment, Duhrlene. When you are given the privilege of exercising the state’s privilege of force, you should do so with an armed populace at your back. It’s the American Way, and the more literal it is, the better.

(Via Joel Rosenberg, a fine American. Stupid registration on the news, article, use bugMeNot.)

Anudder Meme

June 23rd, 2004

Straight White Guy sends this meme along.

  • Last Cigarette: never
  • Last Alcoholic Drink: Absinthe, last night. From this place. It was a lot like moonshine.
  • Last Car Ride: To work this morning.
  • Last Kiss: Don’t recall.
  • Last Good Cry: Reagan.
  • Last Library Book checked out: Dunno, but I still have it checked out.
  • Last Movie Seen in Theater: Dawn of the Dead
  • Last Book Read: The Tyranny of Good Intentions
  • Last Movie Rented: Watched? MST3K: The Brain that Wouldn’t Die. Unwatched: Chinatown.
  • Last Cuss Word Uttered: Communist.
  • Last Beverage Drank: Coffee.
  • Last Food Consumed: Birthday cake. (not mine.)
  • Last Crush: An attorney here. If she wasn’t married… I probably still wouldn’t try anything. Actually, I’m still working on that one.
  • Last Phone Call: An attorney here, alerting me to a typo in a presentation to the court tomorrow.
  • Last TV Show Watched: Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
  • Last Time Showered: Monday. (My shower is busted so I’m showering at my parents’ house.)
  • Last Shoes Worn: The black Oxfords I am wearing now.
  • Last CD Played: Garbage Version 2.0 on the way home last night in the car.
  • Last Item Bought: A 45ci 3000psi HPA tank for my paintball marker on eBay.
  • Last Download: Manual for a Sanyo PLC-XU60
  • Last Annoyance: Dribbling water from the absinthe all over the coffee table last night
  • Last Disappointment: Stewarts Peach Soda, Sunday.
  • Last Soda: Stewarts Peach Soda, Sunday. They aren’t as good as Nehi. Not dry at all like Nehi is.
  • Last Thing Written: This list.
  • Last Key Used: Office
  • Last Word(s) Spoken: “Later”
  • Last Sleep: 6:30 AM this morning.
  • Last IM: From my 16 year old cousin yesterday. (Not the same one as below.)
  • Last Sexual Fantasy: The chick in the beige skirt and jacket this morning on the walk from the parking lot to the office. skeet skeet skeet
  • Last Weird Encounter: Giving the hairy eyeball to an unmarked police car cruising my block last night while I was grilling my NY Strips in the front driveway last night
  • Last Ice Cream Eaten: Bryers Mint Chocolate Chip Sunday. Sorry, Blue Bell.
  • Last Time Amused: Watching that stupid AARP Pork SS flash animation thing.
  • Last Time Wanting To Die: Never. I… I will survive…
  • Last Time Hugged: Last weekend, when my Aunt came down from Oklahoma for a visit.
  • Last Time Scolded: Don’t recall.
  • Last Time Resentful: Don’t recall.
  • Last Chair Sat In: Black adjustible office chair with arms. Here at the office.
  • Last Underwear Worn: Plaid boxers, on my behind right now.
  • Last Bra Worn: My cousin’s, on my head. She didn’t think it was funny either.
  • Last Shirt Worn: White shirt. With tie. Wearing it now.
  • Last Webpage Visited: SWG. See above.

The Everlasting Phelps

TRIGGER WARNING: This entire site will cause massive butthurt in any precious snowflake that needs a trigger warning for anything.