The Everlasting Phelps

TRIGGER WARNING: This entire site will cause massive butthurt in any precious snowflake that needs a trigger warning for anything.

Gamer Nostalgia

November 30th, 2004

Given all the hype about HALO 2, I got back to thinking about Marathon. I’m one of those people who are convinced that HALO is “Marathon 4″ and HALO 2 is “Marathon 5.” I went looking for evidence of this and found Marathon’s Story.

This is hella cool.

I’ve spent the last two hours poking around and reading nine bleeding years of blogging. Oh man this is cool. It is like… like if no one else in the world seemed to realize how cool Star Wars was until the new movies came out, and no one knew about the original three, but now you find an entire group of people who have been analyzing and dissecting the movies for years. This is great.

Katab

November 29th, 2004

Huh.

Prof. Khaleel Mohammed is not a beloved figure among Muslim students in the United States. His visits to campuses to lecture are almost always accompanied by demonstrations of protesters condemning his opinions and his views. He has also felt hostile looks at the mosque where he used to worship in the city where he lives, San Diego, and therefore he rarely goes there. And indeed Mohammed’s views are very unusual in the Arab world. His main thesis is that the Holy Land (according to most commentators, this refers to the area of Israel-Palestine) was given to the Jews. He takes this from the Koran itself, the divine book that is sanctified by Muslims, and is prepared to do battle with anyone who disagrees with him.

You learn something new every day.

Coffee Cups

November 22nd, 2004

Why do people do whatever the absolutely laziest and crudest thing is? I’m talking about those stupid little caps on coffee cups. Everyone drinks Starbucks. I don’t even have a problem with that. I’ve come to accept it and have even joined the bunch, treating myself to a cappuccino once or twice a week.

You know what I do with that little cap as soon as I get back to my desk? I rip that bastard off. It is a travel lid. You use it when you are travelling. When you have traveled back to your desk, you are done with it. You know what you are saying when you sit in a meeting around a big, non-moving stable conference table? “Look at me! I’m a big retard! I have to drink from a sippie cup so I don’t spill my peppermint caramel chai rocky road soy latte with nutmeg sprinkled on top and extra whipped cream, because I can’t be trusted with a big-boy cup!”

That’s what it is, people. It is a sippie cup. You know what? I outgrew sippie cups 25 fucking years ago. I can handle a real cup of cappuccino, without all the goddamned candy and twigs and chocolate dust churned into it, and I can sit at my desk without spilling it in my lap. I sit across the table from these mouth-breathers and wonder if they would cry if I knocked their sippie cup over. They already cry if you use real moo-cow whole milk instead of their “soy milk”. There’s no such thing as soy milk, people. There are no titties on a soybean. You are drinking soy juice. Call it what it is.

I would bring my own cup to Starbucks and have them fill that, just so I would know that a sippie cup lid never touched my coffee, except that hippies would think that I was one of them trying to help the environment. I can’t get them to make it in my cup and then throw one away just so the environment doesn’t get off scot-free, because they won’t. I asked. (And I’m not asking again, because I want spit in my coffee less than I do soy milk.) And now they are already using holiday cups. It isn’t even Thanksgiving yet. Now I have to chose between having a red snowflake sippie cup, or having everyone think I am a hippie. Damned hippies ruin everything. They ruined the definition of “liberal” and now they are ruining coffee.

I am so very close to buying an espresso machine and keeping it in my office, where I can make real cappuccino with unfair-trade coffee stolen from poor migrant workers in South America while their wives are pistol whipped, brew it with over-Clinton-regulation amounts of arsenic in the water, and then filled with foamed unpasturized real-cow moo milk. In one of those cups from Mexico that leeches lead. Then I would have a real man’s cup of cappuccino. The only problem is that everyone would hang out in my office, because all the real men would be here, and all the women want to be around real men, and I would never get any work done. And real men get shit done.

Just Damn

November 22nd, 2004

I just heard the best line ever on the radio as part of an advertisement for KLIF:

We thought you should know who your radio stations are in bed with. WBAP is in bed with ABC. KRLD is in bed with CBS.

KLIF 570 is the only place you can receive Fair and Balanced Fox News Updates. Of course, we could always just make up the news… but we would Rather not.

Just damn.

Transparency

November 15th, 2004

Lookout! Weird tangent! Jeff Jarvis said (on a totally different subject):

Weblogs have shown a new way because they are distinctly human; they have a human voice; they are transparent. And they demand equivalent transparency of media: We want them to unhide their agendas and show their prejudices and process.

This is what I see as the strength of the Russ Martin Show – transparency. This is the result of knocking down the fourth wall. It is the intentional coursening of the show — Russ humming while he looks for a call to take, talking to the production staff on the air, even turning the mics off to have private conversations.

What these things do is remind us that we aren’t listening to some big coordinated production. We don’t think that we are being fooled because we expect something slicker when someone is trying to fool us. (Another brilliant paradox of the show, BTW.) When the production itself — the technical side — shows through, then we feel like are just hanging out with a couple of buddies.

For anyone who doesn’t get the Russ Martin show, check out russmartin.info, run by Don Sierra, a buddy of the show. It isn’t an official CBS/Viacom or show production, but it is… authorized? condoned? by Russ and the Show. Check out the free clips, and if you like it, think about Don’s $7 a month premium subscription. He’s added a full show feed now, and it is an entertainment value. (Aiden might even like it.) To see more of what I have said about the RMS, check out the “The Russ Martin Show” category link on the sidebar.

The Everlasting Phelps

TRIGGER WARNING: This entire site will cause massive butthurt in any precious snowflake that needs a trigger warning for anything.