Archive for May 2005

Idiocy Leads to Idiocy

Police nab activists seeking Bush’s nuke suitcase

Dutch police arrested six activists on Sunday who said they wanted to enter President Bush’s Netherlands hotel and look for the suitcase which allows him to activate nuclear weapons.

“We heard Bush carries a nuclear suitcase and can push the red button at any time to set off atomic weapons. We find this extremely shocking,” said Leo de Groot, a spokesman for the activist group.

Uhhh… no. The Football has two things in it: a radio that can contact SAC and launch codes. And even the launch codes aren’t 100% required. You know what it takes to launch America’s nuclear weapons? It takes the President saying, “I’m George W. Bush, and I approve this message. Nuke those fuckers.”

In a separate incident, an amateur photographer seriously hurt himself on Saturday by falling onto a spiked fence as he tried to photograph the tight security arrangements around the hotel, police said.

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyone know if rotton or ogrish has photos?

Hundreds of Dutch protesters rallied on Saturday in Amsterdam and Maastricht to protest against Bush who visited a U.S. military cemetery in the southern Netherlands on Sunday to pay tribute to the Americans who died in World War II.

We get the message, guys. No more Americans need to die to keep you free. We’ll let the next ones go ahead (and it looks like it will be a Muslim fifth column that does it.)

(Via LGF)

Personality Defects

Sociopath
You are 85% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 100% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.
You are the Sociopath! As a result of your cold, calculating
rationality, your introversion (and ability to keep quiet), your
brutality, and your arrogance, you would make a very cunning serial
killer. You care very little for the feelings of others, possibly
because you are not a very emotional person. You are also very
calculating and intelligent, making you a perfect criminal mastermind.
Also, you are a very arrogant person, tending to see yourself as better
than others, providing you a strong ability to perceive others as weak
little animals, thus making it easier to kill them. In short, your
personality defect is the fact that you could easily be a sociopath,
because you are calculating, unemotional, brutal, and arrogant. Please
don’t kill me for writing mean things about you!

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Hippie.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Spiteful Loner, the Smartass, and the Capitalist Pig.

*

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If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you
could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42%
Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is
close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well.
Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can
determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored
near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 75% on Rationality
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You scored higher than 0% on Extroversion
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You scored higher than 99% on Brutality
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You scored higher than 64% on Arrogance
Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on Ok Cupid

Outfunnying

TSA Follies

Is it at all disconcerting to anyone that I passed three TSA.checkpoints this weekend (Love, Hobby and Nashville) and none of them caught the full package of double edge razor blades in the toiletries bag in my carryon? Does anyone further care that this carryon was checked in the jetway (no overhead bin room) with a box of matches in it?