The Everlasting Phelps

TRIGGER WARNING: This entire site will cause massive butthurt in any precious snowflake that needs a trigger warning for anything.

Getting it In

May 19th, 2006

This was a tough week. On Tuesday, I had to travel to West Texas, where my partner in crime and I had to go and rent a 4WD Jeep and outfit it with numerous GPS devices and go tearing ass all over the countryside. We had to use the 4WD several times, and were so far out that without all the GPS linked to USGS maps we would have been hopelessly lost. And we were out all freaking day. And the steakhouse at dinner made my strip medium well, not medium. And I had to drink Michelob because they didn’t have any better beer.

Then the next day, we had to do the same thing via helicopter. And we had to take pictures, so they took all the doors off the chopper. And we had to spend all morning and afternoon, flying back and forth, several hundred feet up, at around 70 knots, taking pictures and video. We even hot refueled the helicopter to get back up there. And then we had to take it up to a few thousand feet to get some really wide shots.

And then when we got back down, it was back into the Jeep for more 4WD action in the places we just looked at. And I think I got Tetanus from where a bard on a gate stuck me in the back of the thumb. I guess I’ll know… Wednesday. (If I end up in the ICU, I’ll make them get my laptop and I’ll let you guys know.)

Torture. Four-wheeling and helicopter riding with no doors out in the middle of nowhere using NASA technology to track everything… torture. The things I do for our clients…

Anyway… get them in, bitches! Ki YAH!

Mahmood’s Letter

May 9th, 2006

So I’ve actually read the Iranian Letter for myself.

This ain’t good, people.

The Iranian president does three things: he challenges George Bush’s legitimacy in claiming Christianity (and thus to be a Person of the Book), he lists a littany of grievances, and challenges George Bush to address them. That, in short, is a prelude to war.

He finds himself in a tough, spot, though. He is justified in his mind, but he wants to be the Caliph (if not the 12th Imam) and therefore wants a rock-solid justification for war. He is well aware that the most universal justification for war in Islam is self-defense, so he desperately wants to provoke the US into attacking Iran (and openly pursuing nuclear weapons seems to be a winner.)

So what does he do? He sets it up so that he has an obligation to attack the United States if we “ignore his warnings.”

And why should ye not fight in the cause of Allah and of those who, being weak, are ill-treated (and oppressed)?- Men, women, and children, whose cry is: “Our Lord! Rescue us from this town, whose people are oppressors; and raise for us from thee one who will protect; and raise for us from thee one who will help!”

Those who believe fight in the cause of Allah, and those who reject Faith Fight in the cause of Evil: So fight ye against the friends of Satan: feeble indeed is the cunning of Satan.

An-Nisa 4:75-76

He lists his alleged crimes by George Bush and the US plainly:

  • Destruction in Iraq under (he claims) false pretenses
  • Mistreatment of prisoners in GitMo
  • Secret prisons in Europe
  • Cooperation is Israeli persecution and theft in Israel
  • Betrayal of democracy in refusing to support Hamas
  • Attempting to hold back scientific progress (in making bombs) in the Middle East
  • Supporting Latin American dictators
  • Failing to assist Africa
  • Various crimes against the Iraninan government
  • Failing to put enough blame on America for 9/11
  • Failing to prevent 9/11
  • Failing to respect God.

Grim is right — this isn’t a friendly letter — this is the Iranian declaration of independance. This is the justification for dropping a nuke on American and Israeli soil when we (or Israel) attack the Iranian research sites.

Research, People

May 5th, 2006

Islamists using US video games in youth appeal: Sounds bad, right?

Tech-savvy militants from al Qaeda and other groups have modified video war games so that U.S. troops play the role of bad guys in running gunfights against heavily armed Islamic radical heroes, Defense Department official and contractors told Congress.

Then I read this part:

“Battlefield 2″ ordinarily shows U.S. troops engaging forces from China or a united Middle East coalition. But in a modified video trailer posted on Islamic Web sites and shown to lawmakers, the game depicts a man in Arab headdress carrying an automatic weapon into combat with U.S. invaders.

“I was just a boy when the infidels came to my village in Blackhawk helicopters,” a narrator’s voice said as the screen flashed between images of street-level gunfights, explosions and helicopter assaults.

Uh… Mr. Congressman? When the trailer features a line from Team America: World Police it isn’t a real fucking trailer, OK? Jihadis are stupid, but they aren’t THAT STUPID!!!

Jesus Titty-fucking Christ.

(Via Clarity and Resolve.)

The Everlasting Phelps

TRIGGER WARNING: This entire site will cause massive butthurt in any precious snowflake that needs a trigger warning for anything.