The Everlasting Phelps

"You never know how booty-holes gonna act under big lights."

He’s a Real Man’s Man

September 12th, 2007

And here’s 25 skills every man should know according to Phelps:

  1. Stop arterial bleeding
  2. Hit the 10 ring with iron sights
  3. Order a martini
  4. Tell a joke
  5. Put out a grease fire
  6. Read a children’s book aloud with funny voices
  7. Grill a steak
  8. Change a door lock
  9. Look good in a suit
  10. Set a digital clock
  11. Make eye contact
  12. Patch sheetrock
  13. Make a paper airplane
  14. Make a toast
  15. Throw a punch (doesn’t matter if they see it coming, Mexi.)
  16. Tie a sailor’s hitch.
  17. Tie a tie
  18. Accept a compliment
  19. The Shocker
  20. Split wood
  21. Hang a picture frame
  22. Standing leg sweep
  23. Compose a photograph
  24. Drive a stick
  25. Climb a fence

Comments

12 Comments

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  • Mexigogue says on: September 13, 2007 at 11:44 am

     

    I would have said the ability to unhook a bra one-handed. I’ve always been able to do that but that’s because I put a bra on myself when I was like 12. Don’t ask.

  • Vivian says on: September 13, 2007 at 12:17 pm

     

    I would have said the ability to unhook a bra one-handed. I’ve always been able to do that but that’s because I put a bra on myself when I was like 12. Don’t ask.

    That the list of Fonzie skills

  • Northe says on: September 14, 2007 at 1:16 pm

     

    What about how to throw any type of ball, foot or base, athletically? Cuz I’m tellin you right now.. those that can’t lose their man card.

  • DirtCrashr says on: September 14, 2007 at 4:00 pm

     

    Wheelie a motorcycle without crashing it.

  • Phelps says on: September 14, 2007 at 5:32 pm

     

    You’re an idiot. Stupid teenage boys wheelie motorcycles. Men ride them in a civilized manner.

    Spin the wheel!

  • DirtCrashr says on: September 14, 2007 at 5:49 pm

     

    Good luck riding off-road on a dirtbike then…

  • mexigogue says on: September 14, 2007 at 6:11 pm

     

    Doing a wheelie. Jeez, and I thought the bra thing was gay.

  • Dale Osborn says on: September 14, 2007 at 6:23 pm

     

    “Hit the 10 ring with iron sights”

    From what distance?

  • Phelps says on: September 14, 2007 at 6:38 pm

     

    Depends on how far away the target is.

  • Dale Osborn says on: September 14, 2007 at 6:41 pm

     

    !

  • DirtCrashr says on: September 14, 2007 at 10:42 pm

     

    200 yards

  • triticale says on: September 15, 2007 at 9:49 am

     

    Depends also on the firearm. When my son, then 16, hit the 10 ring, 10 times, a hole you could cover with a dime, the fact that he was shooting a .22 balanced the fact that the range was 25 yards.

The Everlasting Phelps

"You never know how booty-holes gonna act under big lights."