The Everlasting Phelps

TRIGGER WARNING: This entire site will cause massive butthurt in any precious snowflake that needs a trigger warning for anything.

The Daily Show

April 30th, 2009

At the end of this The Daily Show interview, Jon Stewart asks, “do you know what’s crazy about this conversation?”

Yes, Jon, I do.  It is that what you decided to show on the air was 85% you talking, and the other 15% was Cliff May trying to get you to shut up so that he could actually say something.

Don’t do the Daily Show.  No matter how the full interview goes, all they are going to do is use on the air is you as a prop for Jon Stewart to pontificate from.  Make him do a monologue instead.

Obama Thinks He is Doing Great

April 27th, 2009

The Associated Press: Obama quickly, confidently adapts to presidency:

Whatever the reason, Obama has seemed extraordinarily at ease as president from the day he took office — after a campaign in which he made a once skeptical electorate comfortable with the notion that a black, 47-year-old, first-term senator with limited experience could take over as the leader of the free world.

I’ve relied on this study for years — you see it over and over and over.

Volleyball coach

April 21st, 2009

My initial reaction to this:

The head volleyball coach at Southlake Carroll Senior High School has been arrested.

Police said she was caught performing a lewd act with a man at a Roanoke park.

Police say Wyvonne Walling, 45, was in a pickup with the man near the pool at Fairplay Park when the arrest occurred last Thursday morning.

… was, “well, the guy was an adult, wasn’t a student, and wasn’t a co-worker, so I don’t see what the problem is.”  Which I think says a lot about our lowered standards, where we expect to hear that a teacher is molesting her students.

(Cheap joke:  It had to be a frame-up.  Who ever heard of a girl’s volleyball coach going down on a man?)

Texas Secession

April 20th, 2009

This is why liberals always screw up government programs. This guy has a problem with basic logistics.

Think about what life in Texas would be like if its pandering governor has his way.

He doesn’t have “a way”.  The first thing out of his mouth when the question came up was that there was no reason to do it.  But, let’s contiune this pointless exercise.

The new nation would have to raise an Army and a Navy and an Air Force from scratch, of course.

No, it wouldn’t.  We already have the Texas National Guard.  Beyond that, we have the Texas State Guard (who are not subject to nationalization.)  We wouldn’t need to build bases.  We have them.  We wouldn’t need to build tanks — we have Ft. Hood.  (In fact, that would mean that the Union would need to build more tanks, not Texas.)  We have our own air superiority fighters already (the Texas State Guard Air Wing).  We don’t have a blue water Navy, but we really wouldn’t need one.  Texas wouldn’t be interested in projecting power in that way.

For the first few years, if it didn’t want to be gobbled up by Mexico or intimidated by the hugely irritated United States to the north, there would probably have to be confiscatory taxation, and a draft of a million or so healthy men and women over 18, just to guard its thousands of miles of borders.

By that logic, we would already need it.  We wouldn’t need to “guard” the US-Texas border, unless you are taking it as de facto that the rest of the United States is an imperialist aggressor that wouldn’t hesistate to invade a weaker neighbor (which the existence of Mexico shoots all the hell.)  I doubt you would need to draft anyone, since you seem to have pulled that “million” number out of your ass.  There’s barely a million men in the US Army, and that’s 50 states.  There’s less than 1.5 million active personel in the entire Armed Services, and only another 850,000 in reserves.

Taxation wouldn’t be much of a problem, because the US really would be paying for us then.  There would be tarrifs on the energy that the United States would be forced (by necessity) to buy from us — both oil, natural gas, and especially electricity.  Add in the communications infrastructure and customs tarrifs that we could collect, on top of shifting the current federal taxes to the state, and Texas would do quite fine, financially.

Unless you mean that the current levels are already confiscatory, which I don’t think I would argue with.

The drug violence and corruption in Mexico would quickly move north and permeate the new nation.

I think this is a non sequitor.  Texas would actually have an interest in keeping the border closed.  This also assumes that Texas won’t simply legalize marijuana, which would kick the drug cartels right in the pocketbook.

Loyal Americans would no doubt launch a resistance movement. Under such conditions, in this militaristic state, we can assume that certain “adjustments” would be made in civil liberties.

Like what?  Warrantless wiretaps?  Paramilitary raids on civilians?  Detainment of enemy combatants without habeas corpus?  Gun confiscation?

You know, all that stuff that Barack Obama supports?

With all that local tax money going to defense, the state’s schools and roads and bridges and medical infrastructure would suffer. Agribusiness and ranchers and old folks and colleges would decline as well. No more of that dreaded U.S. federal aid.

Yeah, because no one in the new state would, you know, eat food or drive cars.

I presume that more than a few of Houston’s wealthy lawyers and doctors and Dallas financiers would decide that the ol’ US of A isn’t so bad a place, after all, and discover the charms of Colorado and New Mexico. So brain drain would be a problem. Offshore accounts and tax evasion would flourish.

Riiiight.  They are going to leave a state that will be doing all it can to make that business attractive to move to states that charge them even more on their income, while continually threatening to put even more regulation on how the doctors conduct business (via “National Healthcare”) and threatening to tax the bankers at 90% or even throw them in jail (like AIG.)

Ho yea, those dumb asses are going to be running to that.

Lemme tell you, Scooter.  We’re already draining you.  That is why Dallas and Houston are already centers for those markets.

As for manufacturing, Texas doesn’t really make anything important by itself anymore. Its oil fields are pretty much tapped. We in the states would be taking back NASA and closing all our military bases, of course. I suppose that, until the American states along the Gulf build up their ports, Houston and Galveston might limp along for a while. But the U.S. embargo on Texas imports, in the long run, would empty those docks.

BFD.  The US doesn’t make anything “important” by itself anymore either.  China isn’t going to have a problem selling to us.  Our oil fields are doing fine, especially once you factor in newer technologies like gas injection.  Our natural gas reserves are massive, and even if the fields were tapped out, the US would still need the Texas refineries.  I’m astonished as to where this “US Embargo” comes from — your ass must be getting pretty sore with all the things you are pulling out of it.  An embargo on Texas would be economic suicide.  It makes as much sense as an embargo on Mexico because of the drug war or the immigration issues.

Austin would be an interesting case. Would its liberal software designers, musicians, University of Texas faculty and filmmakers stay with Texas? Or secede, in turn, from Texas and rejoin the United States? Or become a kind of laid-back Switzerland, playing both countries against each other?

Or, they would do like liberals always do, bitch and whine but not actually do anything about it past that.

Once you start down this secession road, all sorts of things can happen. Think about San Antonio and south Texas—heavily populated by Mexican-Americans. There are so many minorities in Texas, in fact, that put all together they make up the majority. Like California, today’s Texas is a majority-minority state.

They are not in Mexico.  They left Mexico for a reason.  What makes you think that they want back into that mess?

We’ve been down this road before Scooter, and our Texican friends were here for that one too.  It wasn’t just white people dying at the Alamo and Goliad and Gonzalez against Santa Anna.  A lot of native Mexicans fought with the US immigrants in the Texas Revolution, and I would bet my life that they would do it again.  Literally, if it comes to that.

As for the rest of us, we in America would miss the wonderful sly humor, the rich culture, the courage and patriotism and poetry of our brothers and sisters in Texas. The benefits that this great state bring us far outweigh the burdens—the Dallas Cowboys, W, Roger Clemens—that we sometimes have to endure.

Apparently, this asshole also thinks that if Texas seceeds, the US will also censor any communication coming out of Texas.

He seems to have an even lower opinion of the rest of the Union than he does of Texas.

The Everlasting Phelps

TRIGGER WARNING: This entire site will cause massive butthurt in any precious snowflake that needs a trigger warning for anything.