So Jimmy Carter and a bunch of other idiotarians have claimed that most if not all of the opposition to Obama’s Health Insurance Takeover is because Obama is black. Here’s where I’m having a problem. How do these guys think it would have gone if Obama wasn’t black? Like, say John Edwards won. Do they really think it would have gone like this?
John Edwards, POTUS: I want to completely take over health insurance and fine anyone who doesn’t pay for it.
John Edwards: Single payer healthcare. It’s time. We Won.
John Edwards: IwonIwonIwon!!!
Republicans: Well… okay.
John Edwards: I’m glad you guys are on board. Why, just the other day I was channeling dead babies, and they told me that socialized medicine was just what this country needed.
Joe Wilson: YOU LIE!
Republicans: Joe? WTF? Can’t you tell that the president is white?
Joe Wilson: Huh? (Squints) Oh, sorry, sorry. I just got new contacts.
George W. Bush: Hey, some racist said that you also want to give free healthcare to illegal aliens. Is that true?
John Edwards: YOU LIE!
Democrats: Damnit George, what the hell? This isn’t some black guy, this is the president of the United States of America! I don’t know about you, but we think that’s a pretty important office. How dare you treat a president like that, you monkey-faced Hitler-like person that we have constant assassination fantasies about!
John Edwards: Oh, and we need a new tax. Cap and Trade. Give it.
Republicans: Hey, we’re in the middle of a recession. Might be a depression. We don’t think that this is a good time to raise taxes. We don’t think that there is a good time to raise taxes, but this is probably the worst.
John Edwards: Achem. (Holds up a porcelain plate to his face and points)
Republicans: Oh, right, right, we forgot. Go ahead.
Kanye West: This joint session of Congress is pretty good, and I’m gonna let you see it, but I just wanna say, Hillary had the best socialized medicine plan of all time. Of all time!