Archive for the ‘The Russ Martin Show’ Category.

Haters

Boy, Black Eddie on the Russ Martin Show has been hated on a couple of times by black women the last few days. First, there was a woman who was mad because Eddie says N all the time. I (and a few million of my closest friends) think it is hillarious, but she has a problem with it. She thinks that because Eddie makes fun of the word on the radio, that he is making black people look bad. I don’t agree. I think that you can use the word in jest, and take the sting out of it.

The word really can lose its power. When I was working at a black record label and hanging out with gangsta rappers, I still didn’t use it. I almost used it once, though. A bunch of us were hanging out talking about mamas, and it almost slipped out. At that point, my life was so saturated with the word, that it truley meant “person” to me. Eddie is reminding me that it doesn’t even mean that. It is an empty word. That is how it should be. (I only said half of it because I like my b-hole being poo sized, not Nike sided. I probably could have gotten away with one, being the beloved White Mike. If I made it a habit, I would have an ass whuppin coming.)

Today, though, it went too far. Just because Eddie pointed out that some of the people working in Michael Jackson’s house might have seen something but not said something just because MJ is a powerful person, she called him — well, she said “he would be one of those slaves who would run in and tattle on people, ‘massa, they doin this.'” That’s right, she called Eddie a House Nigger. Isn’t that a bitch? If you speak freely around white people, you are a minstrel clown according to the first woman. If you talk about how things really are between the powerful and the weak, you’re a house nigger according to the second.

And I’m telling you now, if you believe either one, you are a hater. I just don’t know why it is black women doing all the hating.

Legend

DFW’s afternoon legend“?

Legend? Buddy. Really. Even the Bag of Piss never claimed that one. “Impervious to all that surrounds him?” Sure. The Russiah? I’m with you. But “afternoon legend?” After you bagged on Stevens and Pruett?

I’m worried about you, buddy.

The Wheel

In more Russblogging, I decided that since the Wheel of Punishment hasn’t been renovated in a while, perhaps I could come up with 10 Things that Aren’t on the Wheel of Punishment But Should Be.

  • 10. Fetner Fisted
  • 9. Gary Sponge Bath
  • 8. Rocket Unicycle
  • 7. Be J.D.’s Assistant
  • 6. Serve Legal Papers on Eddie Boyd
  • 5. Follow Russ’ Lawnmower
  • 4. Dreamsicle Sodomy
  • 3. Armwrestle Rob
  • 2. Call L.A. on Phone
  • 1. Suck Amy’s Talons

Russ for Pope

Mexigogue gave his Top 10 Reason Why the Mexigogue Should be the Next Pope. I couldn’t disagree more. I think Russ Martin should be the next Pope. Here’s Ten Reasons why:

  • 10. The Batmobile is cooler than the Popemobile.
  • 9. Russ has his own bullhorn.
  • 8. Russ has lots of good ideases. He’s an ideases man.
  • 7. Russ knows how to throw a good sermon.
  • 6. Sinners could spin the Wheel of Penance.
  • 5. Ritz crackers would get the new Communion Wafer contract.
  • 4. New hymns sung over old hymn music.
  • 3. Nuns love Russ.
  • 2. Jack Daniels Communion wine.
  • 1. Russ has the best advice for priests who want to touch the weenie.

Russ Martin Quote of the Day

Everything about this show has a nice big fat lie wedged in it somewhere.

The Hardest I’ve Laughed in a Long Time

Take me out with a donkey punch, Tom!

And I bet there are only three people reading this that would get that.

Better Late Than Never

Following my Russ Martin blogging, here is the Star-Telegram Article from a few weeks ago.