Buzz Community Standards: No Shame, For the love of money

I read the Dallas Absurder all the time. Mainly because it is free, but it is entertaining too. I like this one:

So, The Dallas Morning News is going to publish announcements of same-sex unions alongside traditional marriage and engagement announcements. Buzz, being liberal and all, can get behind that. The daily, it announced this week, also is going to be more restrictive on advertisements for firearms, only taking ads from federally licensed dealers and accepting none for “assault” weapons. Buzz owns a gun, so we’re ambivalent on that one. (We’re only soft on crime until someone breaks into our house.)

Finally, the News will accept no ads for “gentlemen’s clubs.” Being a greedy liberal, we really support that one. Woo-hoo, more money for the Dallas Observer! (We protest the use of the word “gentlemen,” however. While we’re in favor of nakidity among women, we don’t consider stuffing bills in someone’s G-string a gentlemanly act.)

But you probably already knew this, since the News announced it in print. So what’s our point? This: In a memo to his staff, Publisher Jim Moroney wrote that “these new policies have been put in place in an effort to best reflect the fabric of our community and reader base.

Oka-a-a-a-y. Work with the ol’ Buzzer here. No titty bars. Fewer guns. Yes to gay unions. The fabric of our community. Hate to break it to you, Jim, but your community is Dallas. That’s in Texas, in the “let’s get all torqued up at the titty bar, grab our guns and go a-homo huntin’ South.”

Somebody buy that man a map.

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