Windows is a Virus

That really isn’t fair — to viruses, I mean. I can get a virus scanner that will remove those damned things from my computer. I can’t get fuggin Windows off of my machines. I suppose if I could switch to Linux I could wipe them off, but it seems to be damned impossible to get Windows off of a machine with another version of Windows.

(Don’t write letters of leave how-to comments. If you can’t explain the whole procedure in two steps, save it. I want to rant, not spend more energy on it.)

I’m working on taking an older computer and bringing it up to speed on our network. It hasn’t been fired up in about 2 years, and is still running Win95. I get a copy of Win2K, and install it as a dual boot. This seemed wise, since if it wouldn’t install property, I could boot into 95 and work on it. I should have just pulled a jagged PCI card out of the thing and buggered myself with it.

I can’t figure out how to get Win95 off of the thing without breaking it. I want to do a clean install onto NTFS (rather than FAT32, so I can serve Macs with it), and I can’t even figure that one out. I was trained as an MCSE and I can’t figure it out. It won’t let me do a clean install — not on the partition that already has it on there. I’ll just remove the partition and reformat, right? Not with the installer, even though it says “press D to remove the selected partition.” You can pound D all day long, but the damned thing isn’t going to be removed.

I have a laptop. It’s really nifty for a Windows machine. It came from our IT department with Win2K on it. I can’t use Win2K — having 2 screens is mission critical for me, and the best Win2K can do it mimic two screens (and I need two true logical screens.) I had to have WinXP on it. I found out I can install it as a dual boot. Great! That means that if I need to do something that XP won’t handle, I can reboot into Win2k!

It has been a year. I haven’t booted into Win2K in six months. I can now safely uninstall Win2K on this machine. Except I can’t. It won’t let me. I’m blowing almost a gig of space on an OS I never even boot into.

Viruses are better than Windows. They are easier to install. They are free. They cause fewer unexpected crashes. And they are a hell of a lot goddamned easier to get off of your fucking computer.

Couldn’t we find some terrorists in Redmond that need bombing? I can’t justify bombing M$, but if they just happened to be between us and some terrorists, I might not weep too much.

One Comment

  1. Susie says:

    I recently decided it was time to upgrade from Win95 to Win 98. I went to the website. It wanted me to insert my original Win95 CD before proceeding. Can I find it 7 years or so later? Not a snowball’s chance in hell….