Kerry’s 100 Days

So the Alliance wants predictions on John Kerry’s First 100 Days in office as President, eh? I think I can oblige.

  • 10. Dennis Kucinich named new head of NASA.
  • 9. Blanket Wardrobe Malfunction pardon issued.
  • 8. All white house interns replaced with mute sterile young women with neatness OCD.
  • 7. Bullet Ban Executive Order signed; NRA declares it a victory for the second amendment.
  • 6. College Education becomes mandatory; Doctorate of Thuganomics becomes most popular degree in America.
  • 5. Peacekeeping in Iraq handed over to UN force led by Syria, Saudi Arabia and Iran.
  • 4. Full Employment is achieved by employing all unemployed people as informants on other citizens.
  • 3. All medical facilities are nationalized. All medical professionals flee to Mexico.
  • 2. Al Queda embassies opened in Washington D.C. and New York. Public is assured that dozens of terrorist bombings in DC Metro and Manhattan completely unrelated.
  • 1. President Kerry is impeached for war crimes committed in Viet Nam.


  1. SayUncle says:

    I spit coffee over #8. nice!

  2. The Alliance says:

    Precision Guided Humor Round-up: John Kerry’s First 100 Days

    If John Kerry is elected President, will he finally end the terrorist threat to America? Will he return economic prosperity to America’s shores? Will the horse-faced, clumsy doofus finally learn how to ski? The following Alliance members have peeped into