Wasting Your Vote

A lot of people have been complaining that if you vote for Nadar, you will be wasting your vote. It turns out that sometimes a lot of people are right. There are ways to make sure that you don’t waste your right to vote this November, however, and here are a few ideas to help get you started.

  • 10. Make a jaunty little pirate hat out of the ballot.
  • 9. Go into the voting booth, close the curtain, drop your trousers and make loud grunting sounds. UNNNNNNNNNNGH… huh huh… UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGG… Unnnngh — ahhhhh… Ask for another, fluffier ballot.
  • 8. Tell the election judge that you messed up your ballot, and you need another. Repeat until the polling place is out of ballots. Extra credit if you mess them up drawing dirty doodles.
  • 7. Just write in, “Anyone but a Jooooooo.”
  • 6. See if the new electronic voting machines have a solitaire game in them like an iPod.
  • 5. Pull the lever on the voting machine and then yell, “Jackpot!” Also, ask repeatedly where the cocktail waitress is.
  • 4. Take this opportunity to play a rousing game of “eenie meenie miney moe”. (Warning: Not to be used in minority neighborhoods.)
  • 3. Shout, “survey says!” as you mark each entry.
  • 2. Vote for “Our Evil Alien Overlords, to whom I am completely loyal”.
  • 1. Forget about it and just spend the day at work where you might actually accomplish something..


  1. Mexigogue says:

    Number nine should have been number one. I’m going to have to remember that one!

  2. Brilliant — I’m laffing my hiney off!