Ronnie’s List

Well, we all know I love Ronnie. He’s the first politician that I’ve teared up thinking about after he died. That means that I’m going to honor him the best way I know, but giving you 10 fun facts about Ronnie.

  • 10. Secretly hated Bonzo, like any fine American, for being a degenerate heathen monkey.
  • 9. Peed on the Berlin wall.
  • 8. Once tried to wipe that thing off of Gorbachev’s head.
  • 7. Most of the 80’s defecit was from the bills paid to tattoo it back on.
  • 6. Had the first Dr. Stangelove style warroom built in the Pentagon. (No, really. That one is true.)
  • 5. Thought the Spittin’ Image puppet of him was a Commie clone sent to replace him and had it assassinated.
  • 4. Offered to take payment for the weapons to the Contras in tasty, tasty tacos rather than cocaine, but the Contras refused.
  • 3. Once tried to a couple of nuclear missiles on Cuba as a goof but was scolded by Nancy for wasting government missiles when he had perfectly good missiles back at the ranch.
  • 2. Was first an actor in action movies and then Governer of California, a feat likely to never be dupl… shit.
  • 1. He’s getting John Kerry to shut the hell up for a week.

4 Comments

  1. Drumwaster says:

    I’m not so sure about # 2, because Ah-nuld was born in Austria. Article 2, Section 1 would have to be Amended, and I doubt that Ah-nuld has that much pull, former Mr. Universe or no…

  2. The Sicilian says:

    2. That was good coffee until it went all over the keyboard. Good one.

  3. Kevin Baker says:

    Just one thing: Kerry’s shutting up for a week, and he’s using Ronnie’s death as the excuse, but I’m agreeing with Limbaugh on this one. The more Kerry keeps his mouth shut, the better his campaign does.

  4. Neil says:

    Hey, I remember when that “Spittin’ Image” puppet was gunned down. Wow, that explains a lot.