Friendly Aliens

Spielberg Says Aliens Likely Our Friends:

While Spielberg’s latest aliens are bad guys, that does not mean he has turned pessimistic on the prospects of buddying up with off-worlders. Given the level of technology required for interstellar travel and the long star trek required to reach Earth, Spielberg figures aliens inevitably would come in peace.

“I can’t believe anybody would travel such vast distances bent on destruction. I believe anybody who would travel such vast distances are curious explorers, not conquerors,” Spielberg said. “Carrying weapons a hundred-thousand light-years is quite a schlepp. I believe it’s easier to travel 100,000 light-years with their versions of the Bible.”

Riiiight. Like Cortez, right? I mean, Cortez came with Bibles. Or Drake. He was big into Bibles. They left the guns at home, right? Err, that’s right. They both killed a bunch of people. What about when Julius Caesar explored Britain? Or when Alexander the Great explored half of Asia?

I think that Spielberg needs to watch fewer movies and read a few more history books. I think Drake and Cortez were great guys, but ignoring the “conquerors” part (hell, Cortez was called “conquistador”) is foolish.


  1. Princess Warrior says:

    You would have to be bloody stupid to travel that distance WITHOUT weapons. If there are aliens that have figured out interstellar space travel they would be smart enough to schlepp their weapons.

  2. Bingo MacGee says:

    I dunno… how many times have we humans sent people into space without weapons? Maybe it’s an ego thing…

  3. Phelps says:

    Probably not as often as you think. There have been a LOT of classified shuttle missions.

  4. Northe says:

    Oh, to live in a world insulated by wealth and idiocy. Then Hollywood wonders why the country tells them to shut up and just do what they do rather than vomit out crap like this.

  5. Mexigogue says:

    They don’t need to bring their weapons. They have acid for blood they will spit out on you and then they impregnate and cocoon you and a few weeks later a baby comes out. Then Sinead O’Connor has to save the day.

  6. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    This one time at Band Camp, These Aliens came and stuck a flute up my ass. I wasn’t going for that crap so I kicked their asses and this gay camper gave them both anal probes

  7. Sam says:

    Also, keep in mind that plenty came with their bibles and now weapons. Some succeeded in affecting the resident population, others were . . . shall we say “affected by the resident population, permenantly.”

  8. rae says:

    All you need is a Predator and a Black Chick-those aliens would be toast.