Russ for Pope

Mexigogue gave his Top 10 Reason Why the Mexigogue Should be the Next Pope. I couldn’t disagree more. I think Russ Martin should be the next Pope. Here’s Ten Reasons why:

  • 10. The Batmobile is cooler than the Popemobile.
  • 9. Russ has his own bullhorn.
  • 8. Russ has lots of good ideases. He’s an ideases man.
  • 7. Russ knows how to throw a good sermon.
  • 6. Sinners could spin the Wheel of Penance.
  • 5. Ritz crackers would get the new Communion Wafer contract.
  • 4. New hymns sung over old hymn music.
  • 3. Nuns love Russ.
  • 2. Jack Daniels Communion wine.
  • 1. Russ has the best advice for priests who want to touch the weenie.


  1. Mexigogue says:

    No fair. You brought in a ringer.

  2. Phelps says:

    Damnit! I should have said Boones Farm Strawberry Hill Communion Wine.

    Or maybe, “Nutrasweet in the Communion Wine.” I should just keep rewriting these as I go along.