Archive for September 2006

That’s It?

So this is the best you got, huh? All the spinners in the Democratic and Republican parties of the great state of Texas, and this is all you could come up with?
On sexual predators:

Throw them in prison, throw away the key, and make them listen to a Negro talking to himself.

Ooooooh! Racist! Racist! And he wrote a song when he was with The Texas Jewboys that uses the word “nigger”! (Ignore the context! He said Niiiiiiiiiiiiiigeeeeeeeeeeer!) But what about this one?

As Jesus once said to the Mexicans, don’t do a thing until I get back.

And, uh, I think that is it. 40 years of being as honest as possible, speaking his mind, writing books, singing songs, and performing stand up comedy, and that is as bad as it gets.

Kinky for governer.

Allen’s Heritage

George Allen was at a debate when the following happened:

At a debate in Tysons Corner yesterday between Republican Allen and Democrat Webb, WUSA-TV’s Peggy Fox asked Allen, the tobacco-chewing, cowboy-boot-wearing son of a pro football coach, if his Tunisian-born mother has Black blood.

“It has been reported,” said Fox, that “your grandfather Felix, whom you were given your middle name for, was Black. Could you please tell us whether your forebears include Blacks and, if so, at which point Black identity might have ended?”

Actually, what she really asked was even more insidious.


There seem to be an awful (and by awful I mean WOWEE) lot of sweaters on chicks here in downtown Dallas for 85 degree weather. And I sure as hell am not complaining. I loves me some sweater meat.

Okay, any ideas on why chi-chis look so much better wrapped in tight knit wool than say, a wet T-shirt? Because there really aren’t a lot of women that can carry a wet T-shirt properly (about the same as the number of men who can get away with a Speedo) but I’ll be damned if a sweater doesn’t turn any chick under 190 lbs into one of those Magic Eye posters.


World Health Organization endorses the use of African AIDS Vaccine.

This vaccine only applies to the African variant of AIDS, not First World AIDS.

The Indepundit Goes Pinking

Indepundit (aka Lt. Smash) went talking to the Code Pink people protesting at Walter Reed. Again. A lot of anti-war people aren’t anti-war, they are anti-this-war because they are anti-American. This isn’t a blanket statement — there are a lot of people who support the troops who still think that this war was a bad idea. I get that. I learned long ago that just because someone disagrees with me doesn’t make them ignorant, stupid, or evil. The ardent anti-war protesters, however, like Code Pink and Fred Phelps, don’t fall into that catagory. They do not support the troops, no matter what they say. They do not want America to win.  At least Fred Phelps is more honest than Code Pink. He comes right out and says that he hates the troops and wants America destroyed. Code Pink tries to hide it.

Smash reveals it.

Fluid Dynamics

Today, I farted so hard that if I hadn’t thrown my head back to open up my airways, my forehead would have imploded.

The startup sound in Vista

The story is that you cannot turn off the startup sound in Windows Vista. There is a decent chance that this means that our law firm will not adopt Windows Vista. Seriously. I don’t think that the yahoos in Redmond realize how people use thier product. We use it in sensitive, formal situations. We use it in courtrooms. If your courtroom blares a guitar riff in the middle of a hearing or trial because they screwed up programming it and you had to reboot it, you risk going to jail. Judges can and will find you in contempt of court for that. They don’t care if it is a computer, a cell phone, a blackberry, or a Speak-N-Spell. if it makes noise, you are interupting thier courtroom.

And it doesn’t stop there. We use laptops in nearly every deposition that we take. We also videotape every deposition. That means that when you have to reboot your laptop in a deposition, you are going to have this guitar riff that everyone already hates because they have been hearing it several times a day on tape for all posterity on the videotape.

Microsoft’s “solution” is turn down your speakers. Guess what? I have a laptop. My speakers are software controlled. That means that I can’t turn them down until after the machine has booted up. That means your solution isn’t.

If Microsoft wants to turn thier software into a branding game rather than a utility, then they can take thier games somewhere else. We have work to do.