Childproofing the Country

UpdateIt was a hoax.

Britain is in the process of turning the entire country into one big padded room.

Seriously.

Britain’s first ‘Safe Text’ street has been created complete with padded lampposts to protect millions of mobile phone users from getting hurt in street accidents while walking and texting.

Don’t believe it?

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They are taking the nanny state literally now. They are so fucking helpless that they want the state to solve their problem of being clumsy and oblivious by padding the streets.

And 44 per cent of those surveyed wanted pads placed on lampposts to protect them while texting. The study found that busy city streets were the worst for “walk ‘n text” accidents.

If the trial is successful, the idea could be rolled out to other London blackspots, including Charing Cross Road, Old Bond Street, Oxford Street and Church Street, Stoke Newington.

Across London, it is claimed there were more than 68,000 such accidents last year, with victims’ injuries ranging from minor bruises to fractured skulls.

Is it any wonder that these people get mugged all the time?

(Via Rachil Lukis)

7 Comments

  1. HMT says:

    As with other similar stories about the pussification of our world, it can be seen from a positive persepctive…

    I tend to listen to Adam Carolla fairly often in the morning and generally, more than not, the things he says make sense to me.

    For example the issue of food allergies being such a big deal with kids these days. All you hear are stories involving little Timmy being sent to the hospital because he fell victim to some sort of peanut allergy or similar ailment. Carolla rightly points to this as a clear indication of a GOOD SIGN.

    Clearly the “outbreak” of food allergies and reactions in kids in this Country means that we’ve officially run out of REAL problems. We should be thankful. Peanut allergy eh? Think to yourself a moment about all the times you’ve heard of children suffering from food allergies in other, less fortunate countries. Lots of food allergy epidemics breaking out in Africa, right? Coming up with anything? How about that terrible lactose intolerant community in Bosnia? The examples are just so vivid, right!?

    Yeah, me neither.

    if Britain has taken the time to analyze the need to pad their poles so clowns don’t drift into them then things are going alright there.

  2. […] Is this a joke: Britain’s first ‘Safe Text’ street has been created complete with padded lampposts to protect millions of mobile phone users from getting hurt in street accidents while walking and texting. […]

  3. Phelps says:

    How about not taking the money in the first place and letting the rtards buy their own damned helmets?

  4. R says:

    HMT –

    This is something I’ve thought about before as well. Except with things like “interior designers” or shows where emaciated women compete to be photographed in magazines.

    However, there are some things that would be better funded with public money than padding lamp posts because people are retards.

    How about taking that money and increasing teacher salaries?

  5. R says:

    Because it’d be a lot funnier to see them get face fractures?

  6. Phelps says:

    Isn’t it obvious that they won’t buy helmets because they are rtards in the first place?

  7. […] turns out that this was a hoax.  Thanks a lot assholes.  118118 doesn’t have any US service, so I can’t […]