Essay of the Day

But these days a new double standard has emerged where it’s okay to celebrate men manning up, but telling women they need to recover some of their femininity is offensive. To wit:

A woman telling a man to stop looking like a slob and dress up. Awesome!

A man telling a woman to stop looking like a slob and take care of herself. Sexist!

Saying that men should stop hooking up with women. Awesome!

Saying that women should stop sleeping around. Sexist!

Saying that men should get off the couch and go to work. Awesome!

Saying that a woman should be nurturing with kids. Sexist!

Saying that men should take the initiative in relationships. Awesome!

Saying that a woman should let the man lead (ever!). Sexist!

Read the whole thing.

Update: Added in response to R’s comment:


  1. Kristin says:

    “And that a lot of relationships are falling apart not because there aren’t any good men to be found, but because women are so paranoid about “losing their identity” that they can’t settle down and give themselves over to being with a man? ”

    This section stood out. I’m always skeptical about women who say they can’t find a man. The first thought that crosses my mind is either you don’t want one or there is probably something off about you. There are several parts of the rise of feminism I have issues with one predominantly being that blue collar men are not good enough. My grandfather help raised me and he was blue collar he made a lot of mistakes with his kids but he sure made up with for them through his grandkids. The lesson I left with was if a man works hard and provides then the least you can do is give him some respect. Respect is often missing in a lot of relationships.

  2. Phelps says:

    Yup. Blue collar women want a white collar man who has a lot of money. White collar women want a white collar man who either makes much more money, or makes exactly the same amount.

    And you are 100% correct on the respect issue, but it isn’t just relationships. Our society encourages stripping respect from men. Start paying attention to the commercials that play on television. If there is a man and a women in it, the man is stupid, the woman is clever, and the man can’t do anything without her telling him what to do. (Except Craftsman tools and Ford Trucks with Mike Rowe.)

  3. mexigogue says:

    And in the commercials for home security systems the criminals are always white guys because if they showed minorities as criminals we would get mad and thug out. I’m a thug by the way because sometimes I eat a salad with a regular fork even though the salad fork is sitting right there. I be ignoring it.

  4. R says:

    Speaking of the home security commercials, I want to see one where the woman pulls out a glock and blows the guy’s head off. Isn’t it insulting the message Brinks Home Security is sending to women: Yer a scaredy cat. Buy our product because it’s the only way to protect yourself.

  5. Love AoM. Fabulous article and really good comments also.

    I dunno, Kristin, I never found a man. I don’t know what I did wrong, it’s not that I wasn’t receptive or available.

  6. Kristin says:

    Vivian, the first part of my comment was spoken out of frustration with two of my girlfriends. One I know doesn’t really want a man and the other is part crazy. BTW, I took the information down about your camera lens and took it to Best Buy and told them I want the Nikon equivalent of what you said, now I have a sweet zoom lens that I can’t wait to use.

  7. Kristin, I get it.

    I’m glad you got the new lens, I’ll keep checking your blog to see the pictures.