The Obama Lifestyle

Have you seen this shit? The Life of Julia. She seems to be some kind of composite, like Obama’s girlfriend in New York. Also, like his girlfriend, she’s completely unrealistic and fictional. Let’s see how she fares under the “lowering the seas” fictional Obama, and the real Obama.

Age 3:

Under President Obama: Julia is enrolled in a Head Start program to help get her ready for school. Because of steps President Obama has taken to improve programs like this one, Julia joins thousands of students across the country who will start kindergarten ready to learn and succeed.

Under the real Obama: Julia is enrolled in a Head Start program. Because Head Start has no measurable educational benefit, this is essentially state sponsered day care. Julia, at a tender age, is being indoctrinated into the idea that the state is her third parent, while not being educated in the educational system.

Age 17:

Under President Obama: Julia takes the SAT and is on track to start her college applications. Her high school is part of the Race to the Top program, implemented by President Obama. Their new college- and career-ready standards mean Julia can take the classes she needs to do well.

Under the real Obama: Julia has languished in union-run public schools. She is woefully uneducated and unprepared for college. Although her school spends one of the highest amounts of money per student in the world, her academic performance is well into the middle of the pack. The school still pushes her, however, into the Scholastic-Financial Complex, and presures her to saddle herself with crushing debt.

Age 18:

Under President Obama: As she prepares for her first semester of college, Julia and her family qualify for President Obama’s American Opportunity Tax Credit—worth up to $10,000 over four years. Julia is also one of millions of students who receive a Pell Grant to help put a college education within reach.

Under the real Obama: Julia’s parents are crushed under a byzantine and bewildering tax code. Although they have more deductions than ever, their overall tax burden keeps rising. Even after accounting for the various grants (which, being granted to nearly everyone, simply inflate the cost of tuition) Julia is forced to take on an exploding debt to pay for ever rising tuition.

Age 22:

Under President Obama: During college, Julia undergoes surgery. It is thankfully covered by her insurance due to a provision in health care reform that lets her stay on her parents’ coverage until she turns 26.

Under the real Obama: Julia’s surgery is deemed to be not-cost effective by government regulators, and her surgery is denied. She’s offered a couple of asprin instead.

Age 23:

Under President Obama: Because of steps like the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, Julia is one of millions of women across the country who knows she’ll always be able to stand up for her right to equal pay. She starts her career as a web designer.

Under the real Obama: Due to crushing unemployment levels among recent college graduates reaching over 50%, Julia is forced to move back in with her parents.

Age 25:

Under President Obama: After graduation, Julia’s federal student loans are more manageable since President Obama capped income-based federal student loan payments and kept interest rates low. She makes her payments on time every month, keeping her on track to repay her student loans.

Under the real Obama: Julia is in default on her student loans. This debt is not dischargable in bankruptcy, and is preventing her from getting a car loan and ruining her credit, meaning that even though she now has a job (exotic dancer) she still can’t get a decent apartment.

Age 27:

Under President Obama: For the past four years, Julia has worked full-time as a web designer. Thanks to Obamacare, her health insurance is required to cover birth control and preventive care, letting Julia focus on her work rather than worry about her health.

Under the real Obama: For the past three years, Julia has continued to work as an exotic dancer. It’s a good thing that she is given birth control by the state, and health insurance to cover the various STDs she acquires from “side jobs.”

Age 31:

Under President Obama: Julia decides to have a child. Throughout her pregnancy, she benefits from maternal checkups, prenatal care, and free screenings under health care reform.

Under the real Obama: Julia is now too old to get good work as a dancer. She is still living with her parents, and decides to get pregnant in order to qualify for welfare and Section 8 housing.

Age 37:

Under President Obama: Julia’s son Zachary starts kindergarten. The public schools in their neighborhood have better facilities and great teachers because of President Obama’s investments in education and programs like Race to the Top.

Under the real Obama: Julia’s son Zachary starts kindergarten. He has already been in public-school institutions for three years, and has bonded with the school officials like they were his own parents. This results in his being charged with sexual assault.

Age 42:

Under President Obama: Julia starts her own web business. She qualifies for a Small Business Administration loan, giving her the money she needs to invest in her business. President Obama’s tax cuts for small businesses like Julia’s help her to get started. She’s able to hire employees, creating new jobs in her town and helping to grow the local economy.

Under the real Obama: Julia has been on public assistance for 11 years. She pays no taxes, and in fact recieves a “refund” every year due to EITC. Her life is devoid of meaning, and is consumed by cigarettes, daytime television and fast food.  Julia’s son Zachary has never seen a person leave the house to go to work.

Age 65:

Under President Obama: Julia enrolls in Medicare, helping her to afford preventive care and the prescription drugs she needs.

Under the real Obama: Julia’s missed surgery at 22 progressed to a series of complications. She has been dead for three years.  Her school loans are still outstanding.

Age 67:

Under President Obama: Julia retires. After years of contributing to Social Security, she receives monthly benefits that help her retire comfortably, without worrying that she’ll run out of savings. This allows her to volunteer at a community garden.

Under the real Obama: Still dead. Having died before she qualified for Medicare, the state has now saved close to a million dollars in medical costs on Julia, which Obama has applied to a green energy boondoggle. The energy company produces no usable products, and fires the CEO with a $465,000 severance package.

From cracking down on gender discrimination in health care costs to fighting for equal pay, President Obama is standing up for women throughout their lives.

Their entire, short, meaningless life.

p.s. “gender discrimination in health care costs”?   Really?  Because women are physically different from men and hence women it is somehow discrimination to treat issues that apply only to women as if they were exclusive to women?

This is some truly Orwelian shit.  Weapons-grade Doublethink.

p.p.s. Obama eats dogs.


  1. Vivian Louise says:

    Weapons-grade doublethink douchebaggery indeed.

  2. El Capitan says:

    Obama’s plan for the future??


  3. Mr Evilwrench says:

    How long is this jackwagon going to be president, anyway? Been too long for me already.