New Powers of Congress

Based on the ruling by the Supreme Court this morning, it appears that Congress has acquired new taxation powers.  Essentially, Congress can now fine the failure to do… whatever.  These are some of the taxes that are now, according to the Supreme Court, entirely constititional:

Baby Tax

If you haven’t had a child, you have to pay a tax penalty of $10,000 a year.  Get to procreating.

Church Tax

If you fail to tithe at least 10% of your income to a recognized, tax exempt church, you will be assessed the balance as a church tax.

Self-Defense Tax

If you don’t own at least one firearm per adult in your household, you are assessed a tax of $10,000 a year.

Flag Tax

If you fail to fly an American Flag outside your home on Flag Day, you will be assessed a $10,000 tax.



  1. Constitution and Bill of Rights Test Tax – If you can’t correctly answer the most basic questions about these two founding documents, you pay $10,000.

  2. Kristin says:

    You mean to tell me you are not currently affected by the Baby Tax?